Though the holidays can be full of cheer and traditional family celebrations, all this cherished fun and activity can actually be overwhelming for people with dementia. Even individuals with mild memory loss can experience confusion in large family groups.
At our Compass Memory Support Assisted Living communities in the Boston area we deal with questions all the time from family members about how to help their loved ones feel comfortable and included in annual family events and celebrations.
Here are some tips for making the best of the holidays for you and your loved ones:
- If your Mom or Dad is in the early stages of dementia, acknowledge the sense of loss both of you may be feeling. There is no need to pretend that everything is the same. Your parent will be relieved that they don’t have to work so hard maintaining appearances during the holidays.
- Adjust yours and your family’s expectations. You can simplify annual events or traditions to fit what your loved one is able to do in order to include them. Perfect activities for those with memory loss include singing favorite holiday songs, viewing favorite holiday movies together, and looking at old holiday family albums. Trimming the tree, lighting the menorah, and baking are great, too, but be sure you are right there directing and assisting.
- If your Mom or Dad is living with you, do your best to maintain daily structure and routine – eating and napping at the same time of day will help him or her maintain a sense of stability during this busy chaotic time of year.
- If your Mom or Dad is living in a memory support community you should consider having them stay there for the holidays. You can attend holiday parties and celebrations at the community where they may be most comfortable and have the 24-hour support they need. Not taking your Mom or Dad “home for the holidays” may cause you some guilt but often it’s best for the person with dementia to stay in familiar surroundings and stick to their familiar routine.
- When it comes to gifts, simple is best. An album with old photos, a CD of favorite music, or a coffee table book depicting a favorite hobby, pastime or vacation destination are good gifts. Depending on the stage of memory loss, your Mom or Dad may need help opening the package.
As it is with anyone, knowing you are loved and appreciated is the best gift of all. Don’t worry about the fluff – just spend some quality, one-on-one time with your parent during the holidays and you’ll both feel enriched!
